Geez, you Americans are such prudes. Noir is about thinking
with your willie, and that's what dooms you.
Thinking with your willie? Man, you're demanding your own
downfall.
The femme fatale knows noir is about thinking with your
willie. She counts on it. Breathes there a noir hero who
isn't stupid when it comes to breathing up close to
women?
I bet you take every great noir tale and make it
supernatural, you know, spooky, and the femme fatale can be a
real live (or maybe dead) succubus. Succubus comes from the
Latin succuba, or strumpet, and means "to lie beneath."
Spade knows his problem. Hey, he sleeps with his partner's
wife. How smart is that? The guy can't help himself; he
thinks with his willie. but knowing you get foolish at the
drop of a hanky and staying clean is two different
actions.
His partner Archer is no better. Licking his lips, he'd walk
up any dark alley after a femme. Spade wants no part of that,
but he can't help himself; he's just as hooked. When it comes
to thinking with his willie, Spade is regular as Sisyphus. Up
and down the frigging hill, hey, he can't change. Up and down
the frigging Burritt Alley, yeah, same diff. Yeah, what the
hell, I'll drive you to Seattle, lady. I got no brains.
So the only way to stay alive, knowing how stupid a guy can
be when his willie thinks for him, Spade lowers his head and
just does his job. Uhhh, stay the course.
Hammett's joke with his name. Sam Spade ain't Sam
Spayed.
Othello & Iago both think with their willies; they become
murderers.
Frank and Cora in Postman? How many steps does he take at the
train station before his willie is chasing some new femme? He
just put Cora on a train, and he cannot wait to get to his
car? Frank has a serious willie problem.
Double Indemnity? Walter and Phyllis? Thinking with his
willie again.
The Devil in the Blue Dress? Aw, that's Easy.
Of Mice and Men? Thinking with his willie because he was dumb
as grass. And Curley's Wife don't even got her own first
name? She don't need a first name.
Hey, the Great Gatsby thinks with his willie. "You just run
over that woman, so I'll claim I was driving." Aw, the chick
AIMED the car; it was deliberate. You think Dumbo Gatsby
would have done that for some GUY behind the wheel in that
car?
As Mark says,
"In fact, he ends up exactly where he started, cowering in
his office trying to avoid Archer's wife. In fact, he's worse
off (but again, not noir screwed), because she's now single
and sure to want more from him than he wants to give."
Look at the last line of the Falcon. His partner's widow is
waiting to come in. Spade is so willie-whipped, he shudders,
saying, send her in. He shudders because Spade knows how weak
he is. He still says, let her in. Me, I'd be out the window
and on the fire escape before I'd let her in again.
When he says to Brigid, "I won't play the sap for you," he is
saying, I won't let my willie think for me. How many times
does he have to say it before she gets it? Does he love her?
Naw. But he cannot help lusting after her. And she has been
counting on him being that lusted for her.
That's why Brigid thinks he is so wild and unpredictable. She
expects men to be tame and predictable, i.e., to think with
their willies around her.
That's the Flitcraft Parable. The guy can't help himself. He
can't even run away good. He wants it steady, so he marries
the same kind of woman as before. Sheesh.
Does Spade ever NOT listen and follow his secretary Effie's
advice? How come she is safe around him? Hammett says she is
built like a boy!
The Falcon is all about sexual menace. Gutman is a pedophile.
Or what do you think Wilmer is? And Brigid and Joel both
shared (or fought over) a boy in Istanbul. All this stuff,
yeah, it's all about being screwedness.
You want to write a great noir, then your main character
thinks with his willie.
Wishing all the best for Columbus Day.
Fred Zackel
P.S. Some shameless self-promotion. I got a story "White Man
Sings the Blues" in the new edition of Demolition magazine.
As the Temple of Aphrodite in ancient Corinth said, Enter and
Enjoy.
www.demolitionmag.com
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : 03 Oct 2007 EDT