So, oddly enough, the very good crime drama LIFE and the less good
but not bad and often more relevant here crime drama CRIMINAL MINDS
both had episodes last night, scheduled against each other at 9p ET
on NBC and CBS respectively (and both against LOST on ABC at the
same time), which involved women who were murderers who pretended to
be prostitutes to get to their targets-this isn't really a spoiler
for either episode, as it becomes obvious pretty early in both.
Both episodes also quoted the line, "I don't pay prostitutes for
sex. I pay them to leave," though one show attributed this to
Dashiell Hammett, the other to Charlie Sheen. Inasmuch as the big
PBS outlet in Philadelphia uncleverly counterprograms the newly
syndicated MI5 (known as SPOOKS in the UK, where the slang is more
likely to be taken correctly to mean "spies") at the same hour, I
mostly watched LIFE and looked at Anthony Michael Head as a rogue
spy who might or might not be abetting anarchists trying to kill
George W. Bush on a visit to Blair, and Hugh Laurie as a
Pecksniffian MI6 (I believe) agent who constantly resents our
heroes, and at CRIMINAL MINDS (which also has an endearing cast),
during LIFE's commercial breaks. As for the anarchist threat, I'm
reminded of the old joke that ends with, "You think *this* line is
long..."
LIFE ON MARS followed on ABC, the probably better US version (to
judge from my limited experience of the UK original), while up
against LAW AND ORDER on NBC and CSI: NEW YORK on CBS. At least, as
far as I can tell, there was no such close approach of subject
matter between the three crime dramas, with LIFE ON MARS having a
certain psychodrama or fantasticated element to it (much like LOST,
LIFE ON MARS wants to keep the audience guessing as to whether the
protagonist has actually been transported back 35 years, or just
hallucinates that he has), but it does seem like part of the problem
that the networks are having with their audiences can't be helped by
piling so many series with essentially the same audience against
each other...and while I don't like LOST much, it does suggest that
perhaps a non-cop show now and then among "dark" drama isn't the
worst idea, either.
So, executive summary: watch LIFE and you could do worse than LIFE
ON MARS (US) and boy tv schedulers are not doing us or themselves
any favors, particularly on Wednesday nights in Philadelphia.
Todd Mason
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