Re: RARA-AVIS: But Seventeen with a Bullet!

From: Jimmy Slattery ( jimmyslattery@yahoo.com)
Date: 15 May 2008


Author pics are a real pain in the ass - the worst thing being that, in most cases it seems, the publisher wants a posed portrait. Mileage may vary but beginning with the Sears Family Portrait Studio and on through high school and up to the present day, I have never looked natural, relaxed, sane or less than functionally retarded in any posed photo. I didn't use on on my first book and for the second I gave them their choice of one a friend took on the porch of our house, or nothing. (When an excerpt from the book ran on a news and arts site someone wrote in that looking at it they"could feel the hangover". Surprising, since I had quit a couple years previous. Then again, at a certain stage, I don't think you ever really look sober again. The best you can hope for is appearing that it's been a while between drinks.)

My first career was as a musician and if you think getting a posed pic one person is happy with, try it with four.

I think that's the reason - the pain in the assness of the process - so many authors get one half-decent pic and use it for 50 years. And yeah, the Block beret and turtleneck pic was ill-advised ...

--John Armstrong

----- Original Message ---- From: Kevin Burton Smith < kvnsmith@thrillingdetective.com> To: rara-avis-l@yahoogroups.com Sent: Thursday, May 15, 2008 12:01:11 PM Subject: RARA-AVIS: But Seventeen with a Bullet!

Mildly Peeved wrote:

> Kevin, I'm sorry, I can't resist commenting on your note about schtick
> and fake personas, and I know it's been a few years since we met, and
> while you're maybe not the best looking guy in the world, you're
> certainly not the stonecold mean muthafucka you're trying to look like
> in your photo on your blog...

I look mean to you? You need to get out more. I think I look befuddled and lost and like I need glasses. Or at least to learn how to take sharper pictures.

And Mario says

> I put Kevin in the Shell Scott MF category... about 17 places down
> from MF1, the top category reserved for Dudley Smith, the Judge, and a
> few others. Metaphorically and literarily speaking, of course.

Of course.

Gee, a coupla the other kids in the playground felt it important to publicly state they didn't think I'm so tough.

Boo-hoo-hoo. You boys are so mean. How will I ever learn to live with myself?

Number seventeen, huh? But with a bullet, right?

Anyway, I'm so happy you have a pool table, Dave. Maybe your wife will let Mario come over for a play date... :-)

* * * *

The truth is, though, honestly, I don't think I'm particularly tough, either. Like most of us, I'm probably as tough as I need to be, and I'd hope I'd be tough enough to rise to the occasion, but other than that, I don't particularly worry about it.

Someone makes a point of going the caveman route, blabbing about
"street cred" and "keeping it real," I figure he's overcompensating for something. The trouble with a pissing contest is that eventually everyone gets their shoes wet.

Sure, I might consider posing with a fedora for an author pic, like Macdonald did, but my tongue would have to be firmly in my cheek. And I'd probably pass on posing with a gun or a bunch of dead animals or some other "manly" prop.

Though maybe I'd go retro and pose with a pipe. That always looks authorial. Me, looking real writerly and serious, with a pipe in my mouth, one in my hand, and maybe one sticking out of my ear. If one's good, three must be really good.

I guess I can laugh at the silliness of author photos because I'm already laughing at my own, on a book that isn't even published.

In fact, it might be fun to investigate some of the sillier author pics and bios out there. Although, as I said before, what's in a novel's author bio (or photo) should never matter more than what's on the actual pages.

Kevin

    

      

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