Re: RARA-AVIS: Charles Ardai - Hard Case Crime

From: hardcasecrime (
Date: 28 Oct 2006

> Feel free to set the record straight.

Nope, you pretty much nailed it...


--- In, "Jeff Vorzimmer" <jvorzimmer@...> wrote:
> > > you don't look the part
> >
> > You'll get no argument from me. But when Time magazine calls you
> > and says, "We would like to photograph you and a gorgeous blonde
> > model in a hardboiled setting," what do you say? (Answer: You
> > say, "I'll be right over.")
> Kind of reminds of a Woody Allen routine. Here's my
fictionalization of what
> transpired:
> "Magazine photos?"
> "I'm sorry, I don't do photo shoots. I have my artistic integrity
to think
> about."
> "Too bad, I'll have tell my editors here at Time Magazine you're not
> interested in doing a photo shoot with a gorgeous blonde."
> "Ah . . . Time Magazine . . . gorgeous blonde? Can you hold please?
Let me
> put Mr. Ardai on the line.
> Later the next day at the Time photo shoot . . .
> "Oh . . . we were expecting Mr. Ardai of Hard Case Crime. Are with
> group? Will he be along shortly?"
> "I am Mr. Ardai--I mean Charles. Please call me Charles. Not Chuck,
> Please to meet you."
> "Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to offend you . . . umh . . . I guess,
well, we were
> expecting someone more like a Mickey Spillane type Glad to meet
you. Hey
> guys. Introduce yourself to Charles."
> "Glad to me you all. I've never been shot before. Ha Ha."
> "Nothing to it, let's get started. As you would probably
say, 'Here's the
> dame we want wrapped around you.' Let's loosen that tie to start."
> "Listen, I think maybe you're confusing with me with the characters
in the
> books I write and edit."
> "Okay, maybe you're right, but what we want is you with the blonde
in your
> arms and a cigarette dangling from your lips ala Spillane, you
know, like
> with that young blonde wife he had."
> "Ah . . . I don't smoke and that blonde looks bigger than me."
> "Okay. Alright. Leave the cigarette burning in the ashtray and,
honey, you
> go over and stand by the wall and look sexy."
> Nothing like a little good-natured ribbing to bring you back down
to earth.
> I guess we're probably all a little jealous. Feel free to set the
> straight.
> Jeff

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This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : 28 Oct 2006 EDT