I was disappointed in IF YOU HAVE TEARS by John Evans/Howard
Browne. In the memoir published in INCREDIBLE INK, Browne
said it was his attempt to do a James M. Cain novel and that
is certainly true in both plot and style. A shorter version
was in Mammoth Detective, one of the pulps he edited.
Surprisingly, that story was later reprinted in Esquire. The
story was expanded into a novel and first published by
Mystery House in 1947 and had several paperback
editions.
The plot is a variation on Cain's THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS
TWICE with the first person protagonist a solid banker
approaching middle age who falls for his new secretary. Soon
events lead him to embezzle $15,000 from the bank. When he
has to cover that amount or face disclosure and ruin, he
recalls his wife's insurance policy and begins planning her
murder.
The opening chapters that set up the situation are well done
but as the plot begins to move, everything falters.
Coincidence, bad luck, out-of-character stupidity govern
every twist of the plot. The protagonist has to be the
unluckiest SOB who ever went down the murder path. Long
before the end, I ceased to care about his fate.
It would be interesting to read the original, shorter
magazine version. The various unlikely plot twists may be the
result of padding out a solid story to novel length.
There are some good lines. My favorite: "They'll love you in
hell, baby."
Richard Moore
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